The Land Far Away

The land far away from where I live

I yearn for you

Maybe it's my origin that it seems as a calling for me

I dream of green paddies 

I remember the fragrance of ranga maati

The terracotta lanes

The mud houses

The smile on our maid's face

The soft voice of my grandma

The calling of my uncle

My parents beside me, reminiscing their young self there

I get you now

The land far away

Please be like that till I return to you…..

Samne Wala Ghar

Pehli Shyam Jab Socha Ki Khayalon Ko Kuch Alwfaaz Diya Jaye

Aaj laptop pe kaam karte hue nazar uthake dekha to samne wale ghar ki balcony mein seedhe nazar gayi. Achanak se dhyaan aya wo jo aunty wahan khadi raha karti thi wo ajkal dikhti nai. Socha umar to ho hi chali thi aur kuch din pehle maa ne kaha tha kisi ki us building mein death ho gayi hai socha kahin wo hi to nahi, phir socha arey aise kaise, abhi kuch din pehle hi to dekha tha, lekin wo kuch din kitne din pehle tha??? 

Apne beete hue lamho ko bhulane mein itni wyast ho gayi hun ki aas paas kya kya badal gaya hosh hi nai raha… phir uthke gayi kuch samaye balcony mein chai ki chuski lete hue bina kisi soch ke sukun se beetaya, khayal aya kitna kuch dekha hai yahan… poora bachpan, jawani, behan ki doston ke sath bhaga dodi, mere doston ka guzarna…. Kuch uncles ka muskarana jo ab kahin ojhal se ho chuke hain… phir papa ne andar se awaz di… Raka… to socha inke sath bhi waqt beetaye hue kitna samay ho gaya… papa retire huye phir mere niji ghatnao mein itne wyast ho gaye ki kab unke chehre pe budhape ki jhalak aagayi pata hi na chala… socha chalo ab kuch din naukri se fursat milegi to inke sath waqt beetaungi… wo din ke intezaar mein aaj likhna shuru kiya… dekhte hain kuch chehre aur pal is zindagi se lafzon mein utar pati hun kya nahin… acha ek aur baat, behan ayi hai Diwali ki chutti pe… uske bina Diwali, Diwali nai lagti…. 

Life between dating sites and matrimonial sites

I am a single 29 year old lady in Delhi. 

Well, I would like you to stop reading further and have a wild guess that what should be this write up could possibly be about?... .

Stop reading…. Look up the screen…..!

Well, could be about boyfriend, ex-love flame, too much outing, living life freely, something about urban work diaries, encounters with creepy men, matrimonial-feminism conflict… etc…

No, it is nothing like that… Just wanted to share that what an actual, real girl with an ambition and on a search of a groom could possibly think of. 

For beginning, there are many who could relate to this that we do portray that marriage is scare, I am happy single, I am enjoying my life, dating many men but in our gut we know, how much we are tired of scrolling through the profiles of prospective grooms, how much painful it is to attend the wedding of our friends, more so juniors and be happy for them. I am happy for them but it’s just that I wish I could have been at that podium wearing that beautiful bridal attire and sharing a laugh with my husband. 

What is it??? Is it because I am too independent that they get scared, or is it because I cannot open up at the very beginning…. 

Then comes these dating sites… It’s tempting and fun to talk to strangers and getting compliments about yourself. Who does not like to get pampered but then casual dating is not my thing…. I can enjoy it virtually but I only wish that I could be the girl going on blind dates with no hope seeing that person in the future and finish it with just a coffee and a kiss (or whatever).

What to do? How to stop this situation and get out of this void (which even I don’t understand)?

Future over journey!!!

Watching the trees passing by, came the Mugolsarai station, with people selling bangles, sohan papdi and yes the delicious smell of puri aloo filling the air. It was while getting all this picturising in her mind frame, Urmi’s baba brought the same aloo puri for her. Her mumma distributing it to them, making her to go and wash the hands properly. Both urmi and her baba walking down the whole boggy and then returned chirping all way back talking about the Mugolsorai as a city. It was utter bliss for Urmi, listening to stories of history which her baba used to tell her with so much zest that even if it was fiction she got it registered as a fact.  

It was AC buggy and one could easily imagine its condition in the summer that too in the month of June. They were going to their home town in Bengal and it was a Bengali thing that when they meet another Bengali they just could not resist to talk with them about their culture of Aloo poshto and maacher jhol. Urmi’s mummy baba also got stuck with that genre of their culture and started their chit chatting with other family travelling with them in the same boggy.

Urmi brought up in Delhi had a mixed feeling of both having a Bengali culture yet the urban thought of getting irritated with the way her parents are discussing about her with others, yes Bengali though.

Getting up on the upper berth, her favourite place to dig her face in the pillow and getting away from the scene or as she says hiding to get more embarrassed. Though with her naughty, curios mind peeking from there to notice what all they are talking about and getting them registered in her mind to complain and to tell her mummy later “ki dorkar chilo bolar”.

Soon it became dark, may be because she got asleep thinking of what all to ask her mumma papa. And a strong jerk which made her jump off the upper berth right away. She is always afraid of these jerks as if the train just will get offtrack like what she has read in her newspapers of various train accidents and have seen on television. It’s Adra they have reached, with her parents now asking her to check if she has got everything back in her backbag and getting ready to get off. It was while packing her stuff she saw him first time, with his geeky looks and confused state of mind, so that he does not miss the station he will be getting off. She sat just opposite the direction of his seat just to peek in and have a glance of him. She was noticing him, his looks, his bags getting her mind engaged with what age he will be of and what profession he will be into and hoping to have a direct talk with him once in life time, whether it be of any topic, atleast to ask the time itself.

Soon all the passengers for my place gathered at the door with their luggage ready in their hands and each of them including Urmi’s parents getting excited seeing the known buildings and places. Even Urmi could not deny her excitement as she is also going to meet her thamma after so long. But her heart skipped a beat when she saw that boy standing just next to her with his backbag, just one thought in her mind, “Damn, is he also from here and yet confused”, not moving a inch from her place and kept a pace while getting deboarded from the train. Skipping a moment from her parents while they were getting the luggages down and looking for her elder uncle at the station, even Urmi could not answer what guts got into her that she herself asked that boy of his name and what is he doing in this place. He very excitedly answered her of his travel to see his fiancé to her place for the first time and a cherished smile broke of in both of their face.

Urmi did not looked back where he was standing but had a smile on her face and getting one thing imprinted on her mind that even her would be will be coming to see her at this place one day.

Awaiting Me!!

Oh!! It’s Me, the urban lady, now realizing the apt meaning and life of it. Far away, waiting to return back to my home with my family and loved ones. It’s when they ask me when will I come, I find myself so trapped in what we call urban life of a lady with a zest to create her own identity.

It is with time I have moved out I realize what’s awaiting me and what treasure I have been missing throughout. Me studying far away with an eagerness of when to return back to them, I find myself that the distance which we think measured in km, would be much apt if it would be taken as moments spent on thinking about them rather than being with them.

It’s suddenly while I woke up today, I felt, wish I could be at home, seeing the faces of my parents and then rushing to be with my loved ones to spend the time with, I simply missed the glow they get while seeing me. Although I have been to my home thrice after I came here but its today only when I felt so much aloof and lost in my flow of being an identity on my own. I know its not only Me but everyone who has moved out by some time realize how much does their closed ones mean to them, although while staying back they would have been pissed of. I wish I get duly rewarded for my compromise of being outstanding which at first I saw as miracle to be away. I wish soon I open my eyes and be at home and rushing to back after long day out.

Proposal : Some dreams I dreamt of :)

Strange!!! No butterflies on the stomach, no special feeling…. It’s as if just a normal meeting with a good friend… Yaa!! Now have found the Facebook quote “When I first met you, Honestly had no idea that you will be so special to me “… It was when he sat behind me and slept and slept and slept, that I noticed him with that fat book on his hand : thank god he woke before my stand arrived….  Now its after long time I m meeting him as a person I know better now.. :P Unconsciously though I wore the dress which suits me best but then it’s the conscious side of me warned not to over expose or excited that I covered myself with the scarf…..

Sometimes, or rather most of the times, I dreamt of it to happen but when confronted with the dream in real the person is tend to get confused, tensed and think what now… I went with the flow, with the wild horses running on my mind…. I don’t know whether he sensed it, may be not because he too might be going through the same…. 

I knew its risky because if now fallen, will never be able to recover again.. Still took the chance, the optimistic me and tell u what!! It really happens, just have faith!!… Well to get back to the melodramatic situation of mine…Last time experience was churning into my mind, why the hell can’t get out of it…still kept my calm…!!

Well I know my charm works, but so does his style…. Fooh !! It’s the moment.. I might have dreamt of it but mark my words just dreamt of it… Well this was out of the box of what I expected…. 

:P Was given the choice to watch movie LSD, and some cartoon flick, though I did not watched LSD and was dying to see it chose the cartoon one, not that I liked that but it was just to get out of the awkward feeling of mine I chose that…. 

I was out of my mind… Knew that he is scrutinizing every move of mine… He too was nervous, could sense it :P Thank god that we were bonded well as friends by now and somehow have got that trust and believe in each other before entering into the new phase of our friendship…

He hold me… Proposed me… Aah!!! Nervous, Shocked I was!!! Could not believe he did it.. Think Think Think !!! ranging through my mind… Did asked silly questions to him, how when why me and all other…  I was afraid at that time too that what if I lose it.. I am afraid this time too what if I lose it…. !!! 

But its my quote “What are you good at?” 

“Going after what I believe in.”

And it was then that the special feeling I was thinking of happened.  know that everything of him now will inspire me, will never let me fall and we kissed…!!!      


And at last I realised Its a dream I dreamt of and is supposed to break down once in reality.... world is tough and harsh.. No place for such fancy emotions... !!!!!  

Exploring Déjà vu...!!!!

I have met so many new people and have felt a strange bond with them, popping up in my memory when i have least even thought of them... and some I least bother of their impact, themselves lose their way to my memory...

So many faces and out of them one marking his presence in our mind.... Its getting attached to people with different faces and having one relation of affection with Me... But have never realized of their effect in my life... What if they will be no more to listen to my insensible talks, will know my failures, my achievements... will be happy for me, will be sad for me... and moreover will be jealous of me too.. ;) Life Of Me completing with all these phases, relations and feelings....


 It's with my Man today I felt like now I have understood what Déjà vu is and is thus writing on this topic to share with you my views and giving you a reason to think about it little, going down the memory lane of you all like Me to follow the way of the pumping heart...


His eyes meeting mine and the shine of it making me feel my importance... It's his presence making me feel complete.... Nothing much we are related to, nothing much work we have from each other but still I feel his need in some way, in some form...  It's something more divine, more serene... en lighting the womanly spirit in me... 


With the daily runways of life.. his hello at the end of the day soothes all the workouts I had been through... giving a reason to smile out of all my worries....   


Everybody in his or her life gets a person with some unpredictable situation, for some unknown reason.. and gradually giving you the reason to get connected to that person for lifetime....


Déjà vu connecting Me to each individual I meet in my way to life in some unknown ways...  leading to unknown stream of consciousness.... It's today I realized its changing effect in my thoughts making me to write on this topic... 


I wish you to feel it, to realise its importance with the people around you... The special ones, the needy ones and the ones you don't want to loose, and for those who dont want you to loose... :)