The land far away from where I live
I yearn for you
Maybe it's my origin that it seems as a calling for me
I dream of green paddies
I remember the fragrance of ranga maati
The terracotta lanes
The mud houses
The smile on our maid's face
The soft voice of my grandma
The calling of my uncle
My parents beside me, reminiscing their young self there
I get you now
The land far away
Please be like that till I return to you…..
Pehli Shyam Jab Socha Ki Khayalon Ko Kuch Alwfaaz Diya Jaye
Aaj laptop pe kaam karte hue nazar uthake dekha to samne wale ghar ki balcony mein seedhe nazar gayi. Achanak se dhyaan aya wo jo aunty wahan khadi raha karti thi wo ajkal dikhti nai. Socha umar to ho hi chali thi aur kuch din pehle maa ne kaha tha kisi ki us building mein death ho gayi hai socha kahin wo hi to nahi, phir socha arey aise kaise, abhi kuch din pehle hi to dekha tha, lekin wo kuch din kitne din pehle tha???
Apne beete hue lamho ko bhulane mein itni wyast ho gayi hun ki aas paas kya kya badal gaya hosh hi nai raha… phir uthke gayi kuch samaye balcony mein chai ki chuski lete hue bina kisi soch ke sukun se beetaya, khayal aya kitna kuch dekha hai yahan… poora bachpan, jawani, behan ki doston ke sath bhaga dodi, mere doston ka guzarna…. Kuch uncles ka muskarana jo ab kahin ojhal se ho chuke hain… phir papa ne andar se awaz di… Raka… to socha inke sath bhi waqt beetaye hue kitna samay ho gaya… papa retire huye phir mere niji ghatnao mein itne wyast ho gaye ki kab unke chehre pe budhape ki jhalak aagayi pata hi na chala… socha chalo ab kuch din naukri se fursat milegi to inke sath waqt beetaungi… wo din ke intezaar mein aaj likhna shuru kiya… dekhte hain kuch chehre aur pal is zindagi se lafzon mein utar pati hun kya nahin… acha ek aur baat, behan ayi hai Diwali ki chutti pe… uske bina Diwali, Diwali nai lagti….
I am a single 29 year old lady in Delhi.
Well, I would like you to stop reading further and have a wild guess that what should be this write up could possibly be about?... .
Stop reading…. Look up the screen…..!
Well, could be about boyfriend, ex-love flame, too much outing, living life freely, something about urban work diaries, encounters with creepy men, matrimonial-feminism conflict… etc…
No, it is nothing like that… Just wanted to share that what an actual, real girl with an ambition and on a search of a groom could possibly think of.
For beginning, there are many who could relate to this that we do portray that marriage is scare, I am happy single, I am enjoying my life, dating many men but in our gut we know, how much we are tired of scrolling through the profiles of prospective grooms, how much painful it is to attend the wedding of our friends, more so juniors and be happy for them. I am happy for them but it’s just that I wish I could have been at that podium wearing that beautiful bridal attire and sharing a laugh with my husband.
What is it??? Is it because I am too independent that they get scared, or is it because I cannot open up at the very beginning….
Then comes these dating sites… It’s tempting and fun to talk to strangers and getting compliments about yourself. Who does not like to get pampered but then casual dating is not my thing…. I can enjoy it virtually but I only wish that I could be the girl going on blind dates with no hope seeing that person in the future and finish it with just a coffee and a kiss (or whatever).
What to do? How to stop this situation and get out of this void (which even I don’t understand)?
