The Land Far Away

The land far away from where I live

I yearn for you

Maybe it's my origin that it seems as a calling for me

I dream of green paddies 

I remember the fragrance of ranga maati

The terracotta lanes

The mud houses

The smile on our maid's face

The soft voice of my grandma

The calling of my uncle

My parents beside me, reminiscing their young self there

I get you now

The land far away

Please be like that till I return to you…..

Samne Wala Ghar

Pehli Shyam Jab Socha Ki Khayalon Ko Kuch Alwfaaz Diya Jaye

Aaj laptop pe kaam karte hue nazar uthake dekha to samne wale ghar ki balcony mein seedhe nazar gayi. Achanak se dhyaan aya wo jo aunty wahan khadi raha karti thi wo ajkal dikhti nai. Socha umar to ho hi chali thi aur kuch din pehle maa ne kaha tha kisi ki us building mein death ho gayi hai socha kahin wo hi to nahi, phir socha arey aise kaise, abhi kuch din pehle hi to dekha tha, lekin wo kuch din kitne din pehle tha??? 

Apne beete hue lamho ko bhulane mein itni wyast ho gayi hun ki aas paas kya kya badal gaya hosh hi nai raha… phir uthke gayi kuch samaye balcony mein chai ki chuski lete hue bina kisi soch ke sukun se beetaya, khayal aya kitna kuch dekha hai yahan… poora bachpan, jawani, behan ki doston ke sath bhaga dodi, mere doston ka guzarna…. Kuch uncles ka muskarana jo ab kahin ojhal se ho chuke hain… phir papa ne andar se awaz di… Raka… to socha inke sath bhi waqt beetaye hue kitna samay ho gaya… papa retire huye phir mere niji ghatnao mein itne wyast ho gaye ki kab unke chehre pe budhape ki jhalak aagayi pata hi na chala… socha chalo ab kuch din naukri se fursat milegi to inke sath waqt beetaungi… wo din ke intezaar mein aaj likhna shuru kiya… dekhte hain kuch chehre aur pal is zindagi se lafzon mein utar pati hun kya nahin… acha ek aur baat, behan ayi hai Diwali ki chutti pe… uske bina Diwali, Diwali nai lagti…. 

Life between dating sites and matrimonial sites

I am a single 29 year old lady in Delhi. 

Well, I would like you to stop reading further and have a wild guess that what should be this write up could possibly be about?... .

Stop reading…. Look up the screen…..!

Well, could be about boyfriend, ex-love flame, too much outing, living life freely, something about urban work diaries, encounters with creepy men, matrimonial-feminism conflict… etc…

No, it is nothing like that… Just wanted to share that what an actual, real girl with an ambition and on a search of a groom could possibly think of. 

For beginning, there are many who could relate to this that we do portray that marriage is scare, I am happy single, I am enjoying my life, dating many men but in our gut we know, how much we are tired of scrolling through the profiles of prospective grooms, how much painful it is to attend the wedding of our friends, more so juniors and be happy for them. I am happy for them but it’s just that I wish I could have been at that podium wearing that beautiful bridal attire and sharing a laugh with my husband. 

What is it??? Is it because I am too independent that they get scared, or is it because I cannot open up at the very beginning…. 

Then comes these dating sites… It’s tempting and fun to talk to strangers and getting compliments about yourself. Who does not like to get pampered but then casual dating is not my thing…. I can enjoy it virtually but I only wish that I could be the girl going on blind dates with no hope seeing that person in the future and finish it with just a coffee and a kiss (or whatever).

What to do? How to stop this situation and get out of this void (which even I don’t understand)?

Future over journey!!!

Watching the trees passing by, came the Mugolsarai station, with people selling bangles, sohan papdi and yes the delicious smell of puri aloo filling the air. It was while getting all this picturising in her mind frame, Urmi’s baba brought the same aloo puri for her. Her mumma distributing it to them, making her to go and wash the hands properly. Both urmi and her baba walking down the whole boggy and then returned chirping all way back talking about the Mugolsorai as a city. It was utter bliss for Urmi, listening to stories of history which her baba used to tell her with so much zest that even if it was fiction she got it registered as a fact.  

It was AC buggy and one could easily imagine its condition in the summer that too in the month of June. They were going to their home town in Bengal and it was a Bengali thing that when they meet another Bengali they just could not resist to talk with them about their culture of Aloo poshto and maacher jhol. Urmi’s mummy baba also got stuck with that genre of their culture and started their chit chatting with other family travelling with them in the same boggy.

Urmi brought up in Delhi had a mixed feeling of both having a Bengali culture yet the urban thought of getting irritated with the way her parents are discussing about her with others, yes Bengali though.

Getting up on the upper berth, her favourite place to dig her face in the pillow and getting away from the scene or as she says hiding to get more embarrassed. Though with her naughty, curios mind peeking from there to notice what all they are talking about and getting them registered in her mind to complain and to tell her mummy later “ki dorkar chilo bolar”.

Soon it became dark, may be because she got asleep thinking of what all to ask her mumma papa. And a strong jerk which made her jump off the upper berth right away. She is always afraid of these jerks as if the train just will get offtrack like what she has read in her newspapers of various train accidents and have seen on television. It’s Adra they have reached, with her parents now asking her to check if she has got everything back in her backbag and getting ready to get off. It was while packing her stuff she saw him first time, with his geeky looks and confused state of mind, so that he does not miss the station he will be getting off. She sat just opposite the direction of his seat just to peek in and have a glance of him. She was noticing him, his looks, his bags getting her mind engaged with what age he will be of and what profession he will be into and hoping to have a direct talk with him once in life time, whether it be of any topic, atleast to ask the time itself.

Soon all the passengers for my place gathered at the door with their luggage ready in their hands and each of them including Urmi’s parents getting excited seeing the known buildings and places. Even Urmi could not deny her excitement as she is also going to meet her thamma after so long. But her heart skipped a beat when she saw that boy standing just next to her with his backbag, just one thought in her mind, “Damn, is he also from here and yet confused”, not moving a inch from her place and kept a pace while getting deboarded from the train. Skipping a moment from her parents while they were getting the luggages down and looking for her elder uncle at the station, even Urmi could not answer what guts got into her that she herself asked that boy of his name and what is he doing in this place. He very excitedly answered her of his travel to see his fiancé to her place for the first time and a cherished smile broke of in both of their face.

Urmi did not looked back where he was standing but had a smile on her face and getting one thing imprinted on her mind that even her would be will be coming to see her at this place one day.

Awaiting Me!!

Oh!! It’s Me, the urban lady, now realizing the apt meaning and life of it. Far away, waiting to return back to my home with my family and loved ones. It’s when they ask me when will I come, I find myself so trapped in what we call urban life of a lady with a zest to create her own identity.

It is with time I have moved out I realize what’s awaiting me and what treasure I have been missing throughout. Me studying far away with an eagerness of when to return back to them, I find myself that the distance which we think measured in km, would be much apt if it would be taken as moments spent on thinking about them rather than being with them.

It’s suddenly while I woke up today, I felt, wish I could be at home, seeing the faces of my parents and then rushing to be with my loved ones to spend the time with, I simply missed the glow they get while seeing me. Although I have been to my home thrice after I came here but its today only when I felt so much aloof and lost in my flow of being an identity on my own. I know its not only Me but everyone who has moved out by some time realize how much does their closed ones mean to them, although while staying back they would have been pissed of. I wish I get duly rewarded for my compromise of being outstanding which at first I saw as miracle to be away. I wish soon I open my eyes and be at home and rushing to back after long day out.

Proposal : Some dreams I dreamt of :)

Strange!!! No butterflies on the stomach, no special feeling…. It’s as if just a normal meeting with a good friend… Yaa!! Now have found the Facebook quote “When I first met you, Honestly had no idea that you will be so special to me “… It was when he sat behind me and slept and slept and slept, that I noticed him with that fat book on his hand : thank god he woke before my stand arrived….  Now its after long time I m meeting him as a person I know better now.. :P Unconsciously though I wore the dress which suits me best but then it’s the conscious side of me warned not to over expose or excited that I covered myself with the scarf…..

Sometimes, or rather most of the times, I dreamt of it to happen but when confronted with the dream in real the person is tend to get confused, tensed and think what now… I went with the flow, with the wild horses running on my mind…. I don’t know whether he sensed it, may be not because he too might be going through the same…. 

I knew its risky because if now fallen, will never be able to recover again.. Still took the chance, the optimistic me and tell u what!! It really happens, just have faith!!… Well to get back to the melodramatic situation of mine…Last time experience was churning into my mind, why the hell can’t get out of it…still kept my calm…!!

Well I know my charm works, but so does his style…. Fooh !! It’s the moment.. I might have dreamt of it but mark my words just dreamt of it… Well this was out of the box of what I expected…. 

:P Was given the choice to watch movie LSD, and some cartoon flick, though I did not watched LSD and was dying to see it chose the cartoon one, not that I liked that but it was just to get out of the awkward feeling of mine I chose that…. 

I was out of my mind… Knew that he is scrutinizing every move of mine… He too was nervous, could sense it :P Thank god that we were bonded well as friends by now and somehow have got that trust and believe in each other before entering into the new phase of our friendship…

He hold me… Proposed me… Aah!!! Nervous, Shocked I was!!! Could not believe he did it.. Think Think Think !!! ranging through my mind… Did asked silly questions to him, how when why me and all other…  I was afraid at that time too that what if I lose it.. I am afraid this time too what if I lose it…. !!! 

But its my quote “What are you good at?” 

“Going after what I believe in.”

And it was then that the special feeling I was thinking of happened.  know that everything of him now will inspire me, will never let me fall and we kissed…!!!      


And at last I realised Its a dream I dreamt of and is supposed to break down once in reality.... world is tough and harsh.. No place for such fancy emotions... !!!!!  

Exploring Déjà vu...!!!!

I have met so many new people and have felt a strange bond with them, popping up in my memory when i have least even thought of them... and some I least bother of their impact, themselves lose their way to my memory...

So many faces and out of them one marking his presence in our mind.... Its getting attached to people with different faces and having one relation of affection with Me... But have never realized of their effect in my life... What if they will be no more to listen to my insensible talks, will know my failures, my achievements... will be happy for me, will be sad for me... and moreover will be jealous of me too.. ;) Life Of Me completing with all these phases, relations and feelings....


 It's with my Man today I felt like now I have understood what Déjà vu is and is thus writing on this topic to share with you my views and giving you a reason to think about it little, going down the memory lane of you all like Me to follow the way of the pumping heart...


His eyes meeting mine and the shine of it making me feel my importance... It's his presence making me feel complete.... Nothing much we are related to, nothing much work we have from each other but still I feel his need in some way, in some form...  It's something more divine, more serene... en lighting the womanly spirit in me... 


With the daily runways of life.. his hello at the end of the day soothes all the workouts I had been through... giving a reason to smile out of all my worries....   


Everybody in his or her life gets a person with some unpredictable situation, for some unknown reason.. and gradually giving you the reason to get connected to that person for lifetime....


Déjà vu connecting Me to each individual I meet in my way to life in some unknown ways...  leading to unknown stream of consciousness.... It's today I realized its changing effect in my thoughts making me to write on this topic... 


I wish you to feel it, to realise its importance with the people around you... The special ones, the needy ones and the ones you don't want to loose, and for those who dont want you to loose... :)

Angels with bottoms up.. !!!!!

With so much of rush in here and everyone busy with their daily chores, even Me busy to achieve on my goals, looking after family and stuff.... Still there's someone somewhere you share your thoughts with, and they with you.. You would be connecting with them and you together holding each other up through all curves our life takes... Though we know how insensible and irritating we get or they get but still stick on and love their right over us....

This post of Mine is dedicated to two such angels of my life who have hold me up through every insenesible acty of mine... I know its hard to handle a whimsy person like me, but thanks to stick around ;) Though I know I am a wow girl to hang around... :P

Sonam she is like a breeze just comes flows on the rhythm of mine and refresh me out of despair.. We share same tuning with our take on a kind of Man and our parents...
Its the kind of friendship we all would like to thank for tolerating us from our innocence days to the day we got as a man or a woman... They are the buddies who will be the raconteur of our life...


Anvika... She is the lady I admire for experience and getting me on track from my unrepairable stupidity... She has the flair giving a chick her time to go through her looks... and yes this is what I need to learn as an urban girl and she is there I look up to for what I lack... Though I continue it with my way but she is there at least to listen and play along... And I know You also want to thank such person in your life, at least the girls either out of jealousy or of friendship to give you the fashion or that urban bling in your life... ;)

And these are the angels not only for Me but with different names we all be having lighting up our daily routine of hush hush jobs... Soothing our so much stressed brains and tinkling the better side of us.. These are my angels to life like a lady all Bottoms Up to cheer the life with its glory... :)

Bubble Gum... !!!

With the stickiness to the happy moments we have, its always unpredictable when will it  burst out... The  bubble gum type illusion of our life's statistics is awesome to think about.... It was when I am at my usual habit of chewing it and then form the balloon out of it.. to have fun that it suddenly formed  a big and nice  round shape that i thought to hold on it for some more time and cherish it but suddenly to get into the Metro it burst... It's then I thought how we people find something or other amusing for just flash of seconds and then just move on... The charm of it, the bubble of happiness or sorrow nothing is constant just the rush to get everything on time and then there is our wish to hold it for some more time...

Life of ours.. in such a rat race , and with the urban population, no one is concerned of others or is either effected by others.. It's Me or You on the other side may have seen each other somewhere somehow in the virtual life but don't even give damn to think that whether the person is known or have i seen him before... deep with our own thoughts and priorities moving on and on....

It's the grey shade of our life with so much to achieve that even a 90 year old person is worried and getting out to get his pension work done or some other work rather than chilling out having a glare at the outer world.... Life's own rhythm is on with many tunes and music playing....

Colourful attractive and so delicious to taste to life is.. chewing if I say from the perspective of bubble gum all the challenges of life be it of success or of sorrow and then forming a bubble to display it and then burst out and on a new way to form it again... cool... go on buddies.. ;)

In Search of an Identity.....

With so many people in one place, and each one like Me in search of his or her own identity.... It's like chasing our own shadows to make it of someone popular.... We whenever do something special feel like it's Me only who has shown guts to do such thing but at the same time in such a big urban land there are few other persons too doing the same act be it for generosity or of crime.... today with so many of youngsters like me struggling to set up their feet in this world of strangers, I thought to share with you people about the question I usually encounter " Will I be able to form my own identity or my name will also get dissolved with so many mass around struggling for it"....

I love to chase my shadow because I know it is Me, at least it's identity is recognisable by me... but it would be great if be chased by other shadows too..... Dream we all dream of!!!!

We all know its a long way with thorns but with few flowers too, but fruit of it is sweet to taste to...

I sometimes doubt my ability to get it... I may fail too, I am trying hard to follow it... But if my shadow get me on the right way, I have no fear to accompany it... I wish to get there soon though I know the process is long !!!!

Being Single After getting Mingled.... !!!

Taking my friend's condition and situation I got this idea to share with you what we nowadays usually think of... Many questions related to this I can put forward like Can I live without my beloved  ( Though she is a freak and takes a hell out of me ).. With whom I will share my day routine or thoughts ( Most of which consist of sobbing and kuchi kooing rather than any constructive sharing of ideas )... For a girl if she is on a hunt for boyfriend ( s ) Baby you are such a jerk ( who will bear my expense.. ghosh have to hunt out a new ) and if a serious committed girl, then, I am going to die ( I am worthy enough, can find a better one and this time will get the relationship to marriage ;) )...

The moral I want you all like Me to learn

Finally After overcoming the tragedy or say the hunting period for new ( Perfect ) One... If by somehow the ex (s) meet somewhere... what the hell he is or she is doing here... I suited better than that girl or that boy.. And then after few time .. heyya wassup thought to be friends only... 

This you may say not suited you but someone or the other you might be knowing.. :) 

And with Me around, getting all these things in mind yet committing this mistake with ourself... But a mature me now know the game well.... :P 

I got a thought in my mind today.. " If break up is a suicide, then entering love relationship is a homicide "....

Walking Around The City

With every walk I take, I see new faces with varied expressions. Some are just happy to be around around, some worried about some work of theirs, some walking to shed off the sorrow of their life.... All walking walking on same direction but with different motives and different thoughts.... It Me among them busy with my own thoughts... today somehow got idea to share this process of our daily life with you people... Though many a time i enjoy the conversation people have on their way.. some with their partner some on phone... everyone in a hurry... people say that they have nowhere to go for, but even a single man in a city is heading to his shade to sleep.... Its bizarre to notice so many heads while walking around the city... Me engulfed in my own thoughts, some of joy, some of sadness, some of hatred, some of anger and a good walk easing all negatives on a way.. filling more memories or I can say more things around to get my notice.... It's Me, It's you who feel this every day but today its worth to give a thought..... 

7 September, 2011

7 September, 2011

It’s been a long time I have expressed myself…The Daily Life Of “Me” getting too busy ;) Well the day I came back today is the reason of the frustration we all connected have faced with the blast at the Delhi High Court….But it’s the Me, who knows that its we who have to take stand but don’t have source or courage to do so…. With the busy schedule and the whole world’s worry of family and their well being, It’s tough to take time for the nation and our duty to it…I am sorry but is not it related to “Me” ….??

16 August, 2011

16 August, 2011

Hi!!! It’s the daily life of Me and on the weekdays  what to expect other than the hectic schedule…It’s like all office work is charged on you and all others doing just the time pass…It’s common stand of Me ( relating to you)… But still the dream to be big one day lingers on the mind…. Something to achieve…make an Identity of Mine..that’s the stage the “Me”  will have name. But then also it will be very common stand…. Yet another dream will get into mind…with all the rats running with the tune of pied pupper, the dream of every common man Money…:P lot of philosophy to boast of now…and thus I say adieu for today…J

14 August, 2011

14 August, 2011

Hi!! Its quite late today…though it’s not 12 yet….Me, as usual went on celebrating pre Independence Day..Enjoyed the day whatever the problem and jitters I have faced…..It’s our common tendency to be optimistic even after spending the worst day …… love to be the way I m yet sometimes thinks it very ill....:P phew....continued to write  today also...happy with the way finally getting stable at something I m doing.... :)

13 August, 2011

13 August, 2011

Hi!! This is second day of my creative writing…did not expected to come back with my inconsistancy in anything I do :P….do you ( as I relate you with me ) also doubts on yourself continuing anything like this to continue ??….. Today was Raksha bandhan celebrated in India, ME as in don’t believe in these celebrations with one day saying brother "I love you" and the other day "hell with my brother" if he stays with me…I as in don’t have any real brother ;)…. Well I don’t want to dishearten you all reading it and relating to yourself, brothers do are lovely part of life, with though irritating, are always caring….. And on the note to wind up How’s the preparation of Independence day going..??? thinking of some wonderful patriotic quote for the wall post..?? ME too..:)

12 August 2011

12 August 2011

Hi!!!

To start from today this is ME (you can relate with you)…..with lil bit of time in hand now….I thought of doing something creative and what better than using my creative art, writing :P …and I m in….

ME : A simple girl entangled in big problems which though are very common to u all and I love to mention it big with everything bad happening to me…..Career ( god knows when I will be on it ), Parents ( caring but love to put their tough side on front of me ), and at last search for a perfect person (does he exist in this world) in life…..

I must be sounding self-obsessed with all me and I ;) but what I want is u all will be thinking while reading this..…

Ok now again me on work with mind engaged on studies gtg..catch u later..:)